A Domesticated Peeve

I present to you, dear reader, a domesticated (or pet) peeve of mine: the proper way to address a question asked in the negative voice. When presented with a query asked in the negative (e.g. “You didn’t just drop that vial of Antrhax?”) the answers “Yes” or “No” are insufficient.

Allow me to elaborate.

Let us take that example question and use it in a faux conversation.

Bewildered Scientist: You didn’t just drop that vial of Anthrax?

Clumsy Scientist: Yes.

Bewildered Scientist: Do you mean “Yes, I did drop it” or “Yes, I didn’t drop it”?

Clumsy Scientist: What do you think I meant?

Bewildered Scientist: Dammit James, answer the question! We could have a biological pathogen on the loose!

Apparently James: I did answer you fool! You haven’t activated emergency protocol A11-CCX?

Bewildered Scientist: What? No!

Apparently James: Do you mean “No, I didn’t activate it” or “No, I did activate it”?

At this point both scientists suffer a massive brain embolism completely unrelated to the unbroken vial of anthrax.

I believe my point is well illustrated. Now, allow me to present you with the correct way of answering a question asked in the negative.

Bewildered Scientist: You didn’t just drop that vial of Anthrax?

Clumsy Scientist: Correct, I didn’t.

Bewildered Scientist: Oh, OK then. So how does Chili’s sound for lunch?

Clumsy Scientist: Oh, no can do. Margaret and I are going to the wedding planners to look at cake designs.

Bewildered Scientist: Oh, OK. Some other time then?

Apparently Margaret’s Betrothed: Sounds great.

Bewildered Scientist: Say, why are we handling potentially dangerous vials of Anthrax anyway?

Apparently Margaret’s Betrothed: We aren’t. We work at a book store.

At this point both scientists turn around and go back to restocking the shelves with pulp sci-fi novels, silently pondering how little use their PhDs in astrophysics and bio-engineering actually are.

Now you can clearly see exactly how to deal with a question asked in the negative. Either reply with “Correct” or “Incorrect” as the situation depends.

February 3, 2009  Tags: , , , , , ,   Posted in: Musings  No Comments