Archive for the ‘Musings’ Category

A Domesticated Peeve

I present to you, dear reader, a domesticated (or pet) peeve of mine: the proper way to address a question asked in the negative voice. When presented with a query asked in the negative (e.g. “You didn’t just drop that vial of Antrhax?”) the answers “Yes” or “No” are insufficient.

Allow me to elaborate.

Let us take that example question and use it in a faux conversation.

Bewildered Scientist: You didn’t just drop that vial of Anthrax?

Clumsy Scientist: Yes.

Bewildered Scientist: Do you mean “Yes, I did drop it” or “Yes, I didn’t drop it”?

Clumsy Scientist: What do you think I meant?

Bewildered Scientist: Dammit James, answer the question! We could have a biological pathogen on the loose!

Apparently James: I did answer you fool! You haven’t activated emergency protocol A11-CCX?

Bewildered Scientist: What? No!

Apparently James: Do you mean “No, I didn’t activate it” or “No, I did activate it”?

At this point both scientists suffer a massive brain embolism completely unrelated to the unbroken vial of anthrax.

I believe my point is well illustrated. Now, allow me to present you with the correct way of answering a question asked in the negative.

Bewildered Scientist: You didn’t just drop that vial of Anthrax?

Clumsy Scientist: Correct, I didn’t.

Bewildered Scientist: Oh, OK then. So how does Chili’s sound for lunch?

Clumsy Scientist: Oh, no can do. Margaret and I are going to the wedding planners to look at cake designs.

Bewildered Scientist: Oh, OK. Some other time then?

Apparently Margaret’s Betrothed: Sounds great.

Bewildered Scientist: Say, why are we handling potentially dangerous vials of Anthrax anyway?

Apparently Margaret’s Betrothed: We aren’t. We work at a book store.

At this point both scientists turn around and go back to restocking the shelves with pulp sci-fi novels, silently pondering how little use their PhDs in astrophysics and bio-engineering actually are.

Now you can clearly see exactly how to deal with a question asked in the negative. Either reply with “Correct” or “Incorrect” as the situation depends.

February 3, 2009  Tags: , , , , , ,   Posted in: Musings  One Comment

Camels and their bees

Everyone thinks they know what’s inside of a camel’s hump. Some people say it’s fat, other people say it’s water. They’re both wrong.

It’s bee hives.

Camel's milk (Not to scale)

Camel's milk (Not to Scale)

You see, camels do not lactate milk, like normal mammals. They lactate bees. Camels have formed a symbiotic relationship with bees. The bees live in the camel’s hump and provide the camels with honey and wax (because camels are also candle aficionados… camel candles

January 28, 2009  Tags: ,   Posted in: Musings  One Comment

Yellow Lights

So, I was driving home today and I saw a yellow light. It struck me that yellow lights will most likely have to be replaced infrequently since they are on for a fraction of the time.

January 22, 2009  Tags: , , ,   Posted in: Musings  No Comments